Why Am I Doing the College Thing?
I find myself asking that question pretty often lately.
I've always taken honors courses and advance classes in High school. I was in the National Beta Club and National Honor Society. Making honor roll was as constant as breathing oxygen--I didn't even work hard for it. Upon hearing the goals of my fellow peers and friends, college naturally seemed like the next step.
Family was a big influence as well; Even though my parents never graduated from college and lacked many clues of what to expect when I went, they wanted me to go. They wanted me to "get a good job", to "be educated", to "make them proud"...but in the recent few months I've came to a stop in this journey and realized something: I don't need to be at this educational establishment to fulfill any of the dreams that they have for me. And I know it can seem like such a simple realization, but it really strikes something in me.
I'm an artist in the art of writing. I am taking out loans and breaking my back for a tuition that keeps rising every year. I am paying for classes that have nothing to do with my craft [seriously, what is the point of taking U.S. history for the 12th time?]. I am wasting my time and resources for hope--hope that this degree will be worth something when it comes time for me to use it [not to mention people already sh*t on English degrees].
My perspective is different as well. Being an engineer and making $85,000 a year is a great job to my father. Being a writer and making ends meet is great job to me. I don't want to give off the impression that money has no significant value, its just not high on my priority list of things to have in abundance. I want to work at my own pace with deadlines that I agree upon. I don't want to have a boss, I want to work for myself. I don't want to be employed in a position that has me wondering "why am I even here", I want to work with what I am passionate about and know that I'm doing it because I love doing it.
I know people who have too many regrets and dreams--people who sit back and wish the same thing they have been wishing for decades. I don't want to be a person who sees another bestselling author arise and say, "Man, I wanted to publish works, too..."
When I hear my parents say the common phrase that "education is key", I just wonder how long society has glorified this business--college--as the divine route to education or the route that can only bring good things. I don't want to downplay the importance of education either, but I do want to remind that these educational institutions aren't the only medium to being educated. I think a farmer's knowledge of how to produce crops and raise livestock is just as important as studiers of culinary arts. I think a mountain man's knowledge of nature and sufficient survival skills are just as important as what a biologist or environmentalist would learn. I think knowing how to take in all the details of a garden and produce an intricate painting can be as equal as a sociologist taking in various aspects of our society and announcing the causes for certain issues.
But still the question remains: Why am I doing the college thing?
I could say I do not want to disappoint my family. I could say I genuinely have an interest for expanding my knowledge--and I do. I could say I'm already two years in on this debt train, so I might as well keep going and and finish it. Perhaps I want the credibility of having a degree behind my name. I could say any of those truths, but they do not stop my internal struggle with the question and they don't inspire me or reinforce a drive me during these college years.
So, currently--and sadly--, I can't give an answer that is satisfactory to myself.
Here are some videos to check out if you have time. They are relevant to me as a current college student and a person whose interest in art dominates the other subjects, and as I love deep-thinking and discussions with others--these videos were wonderful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_ZmM7zPLyI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY
Even though this is for educational purposes, feel free to comment.
